Recently, there has been an uproar about Maria Kang and her losing weight after having a baby and not being a good mom because she focuses on her body. Well, that happens all the time. Women lose weight and they get bashed by fellow moms because they lost weight faster than others. Why does it matter? Why are women so hateful? Why are moms so hateful?
When I became a mom, I learned quite quickly that when you become a mom, you do not suddenly become a part of a great, supportive group of individuals who have all been through similar situations as yourself. You have to fit a group based on criteria. You have to have lost weight at a slow rate to prove you love breastfeeding more than you do your body or you love bonding with your baby more than you love being slim. You have to love only talking about your teething child, your child's poop, your kid's adorable act of peeing in the tub as soon as you put him in it.... the list goes on.
I started working out as soon as I could move comfortably because I become depressed when I don't get out and about. I have to be myself to be happy and to be a good mother. Going to work out for an hour makes me come home to my baby with a lighter, happier attitude. Clearing my head allows me to think straight and not forget when to put him down for a nap or feed him or change his diaper. Getting away from him makes me want to spend more quality time with him when I am. And to be honest, I don't like talking all about my child. I love him, but I am with him about 23 hours per day and like to talk about other things as well. It's like with the Navy. I don't like talking about the Navy spouse stuff all the time with other navy spouses because I live that stuff with my husband. I don't enjoy talking about baby stuff with other moms because I want to get out of my head a little. I enjoy talking with my non-mom friends mostly because I can talk about books, or movies, or workouts, or the next best coffee on the market. However, it's hard talking to some of my non-mom friends because it's hard to hear someone without kids say how exhausted they are and how long their work hours are when your work hours are 24/7, literally.
It's a tough spot, really. There are people who don't hate me for who I am (maybe because they've known me for too long or are related to me) and I'm thankful for that select group of women. I'm here to help people who want my help (losing weight, getting stronger, getting motivated, an ear to hear things out), and am certainly not here to judge. Beginning with the breastfeeding "support group" when my little guy was a newborn, I knew right away there's no such thing as a support group full of women who are constantly judging one another. Women are so mean, and women with babies aren't much nicer. I take that back, there are some really awesome ones, but mostly ones who had kids 10 years ago or so (and some with babies) who don't care how much more weight you lost or how quickly your kid is learning to walk or whatever, thank you to all of you ladies.
I know I touched on all of this with my Postpartum journey post, but it's seriously ridiculous. Can we all just be nice? Goodness, we're the strongest group of individuals in the world, who work our butts off and never get a sick day. I'm pretty sure we're all superheroes and should start being more supportive of our fellow superheroes without pre-judging one another.