Women’s rights. What does that mean anyway? Voting rights,
equal pay, reproductive rights, equal opportunity…. What about the right to
have your baby however you damn well choose? How can a doctor make one decision
that affects the rest of you and your baby’s or babies’ futures?
My husband and I planned our pregnancy. We had to due to
“infertility”. We went down this road knowing how unpredictable babies can be.
However, we thought we could plan our birth regarding who would be there, what
interventions I would refuse, how much time I would be given to give birth, and
how the baby would be cared for once he arrived.
From the beginning of my appointments, my doctor told me
there is no reason for me to have a C-section unless something went terribly
wrong. From the looks of it, my pelvic structure was perfectly normal, I was in
great physical shape, and the baby was healthy.
I went over my birth plan with him several times to assure he understood
how important it would be to me, not to have any kind of intervention,
especially any kind of medication.
Why did I not have a home birth in the first place? I
thought they were unsafe because gut tells you that being in a hospital in case
something went wrong would give you access to the quickest medical help that
could save you and your baby’s lives, right? Wrong. Home births attended by
midwives are actually proven to be safer for both mom and baby. Hospitals can
actually reduce the chances of a woman going into labor spontaneously due to
being around unfamiliar equipment, and the medical interventions can cause
unfavorable outcomes in otherwise healthy women (
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1694364/pdf/amjph00540-0124.pdf)
I trusted my doctor, and thought I was educated enough to
know when and how to refuse any interventions. I did know that if something
were to happen, I would have to have a C-section. I was perfectly open to that
if it were to save my child’s life. I told my doctor that in that case I would
want to have a VBAC next time and he assured me there would be no reason in
most cases why I couldn’t have that.
The documentary, “The Business of Being Born” depicted my
birth so perfectly it is frightening. So many women have the same thing happen
and are scared into C-sections, which is why I want more women to understand
why it is so essential for them to do research and speak up. My water released
at 7:50 PM Monday night, I had some small contractions throughout the night
after going to the hospital right away (dumb move #1), and nothing really
changed by 8 AM. The nurses kept telling
me I need to start Pitocin since it will help me to contract effectively, which
is stupid because the baby hadn’t even dropped and I hadn’t dilated more than 1
cm). At 9:15 I agreed to allow my doctor to start the Pitocin (dumb move #2).
As the day went on, they would increase the dose of Pitocin, and my
contractions would grow stronger. I walked around and got into numerous
positions to help the baby to drop. The nurses continued to ask me if I wanted
to go ahead and have a c-section since chances are that nothing would change.
At 8:15 PM, the on-call doctor told me that my heavy contractions could be
hurting the baby, but still aren’t helping me to dilate and the baby was still
high. She told me that chances are, my baby will get stressed from the
contractions and the outcome could be devastating. My doctor had apparently
been waiting in the operating room ready for me to make a decision and get cut
open. At 8:45 I agreed to the C-section since the doctor and nurses kept
scaring me telling me my baby could die. At 8:50 they inserted the epidural and
at 8:55 my baby was “born”.
None of this would be traumatic had I actually needed the
Pitocin in the first place, and had my baby really had the big chance of dying,
and had I not ben completely paralyzed from the epidural from my face down and
able to do nothing other than vomit and shake so I couldn’t hold my newborn who
I’d been more excited and overjoyed to meet than anything I’d ever wanted in my
life. You see, this is where you need to learn the reasons for and effects of
medical interventions before going to a hospital to give birth, be that your
choice. If your baby has dropped and you are stuck at say, 6 cm dilation or
whatever, sure Pitocin might help you. However, if your baby has not dropped
and you haven’t dilated, Pitocin will do nothing but stop your body from
continuing labor and simply give you false contractions and give your body the
signal to rely on that medical intervention to keep you going. Had I not had
the Pitocin, my body could have most likely gone into second stage labor
eventually, even if it would take a day or two. The baby could have been perfectly
fine without the induced stress on my uterus squeezing the crap out of him
getting him nowhere. Many first time moms take a while to go into active labor,
and I was one of those.
I tried to deal with it, thinking the C-section saved my
baby’s life, and that I’ll just have a VBAC (Vaginal Birth after Cesarean) next
time. At 6 weeks postpartum, I was already scouring doctors via the internet
and phone calls trying to find who would be the most VBAC supportive. To be
supportive is one thing, to actually be committed to helping you with your VBAC
is a completely different story. I looked at success rates. I found a doctor I
was set on who had a 99% success rate at her hospital. When I found out I was
pregnant again, I called her immediately to schedule an appointment. Everything
was great until she asked for my operative report, only to find that the doctor
who cut me open gave me a single-layer suture, instead of a double-layer
suture. Her hospital policy would not allow her to attend my birth because of that
one problem. By the way, there is no evidence that a VBAC on a woman with
either suture would make any difference. There are arguments in both cases.
In my 24th week of pregnancy, I had no one to
attend my birth. I called several VBAC friendly doctors to ask who would help
me with a VBAC though I have a single-layer suture. Some said they wouldn’t,
and others said they might, while others wouldn’t even answer my question.
“Might” is not good enough. I will NOT be cut open again. The success rate of
VBACs is incredibly low in the first place in a hospital setting, simply due to
the calls made by the doctors who just want to get home in time for dinner and
don’t want to risk a medical malpractice suit. I called the only home birthing
midwifery in the state and the founder would not allow any of her midwives to
help me. She said she would be putting the practice of midwifery in danger.
Midwives in bordering states have been crossing the state line for years to
help women like me in need. However, these women get cease and desist letters
and put their practice at risk every time. So basically, the law is trying to
force me to give birth in a hospital, ultimately forcing me to have a repeat
C-section, which will put me at greater risk of uterine rupture in the future
and decrease the amount of children I can safely have. The law is trying to
decide my future. Will I let that happen? Absolutely not. Can the law take away
my God-given right to birth my child in the safest way possible? Not at all.
It’s funny, I asked a midwife if I could just go to a doctor
who says they “might” give me a VBAC and be armed with all of my information. I
asked if I could have a similar outcome at home as I would at the hospital if I
simply refused all interventions and wouldn’t allow anyone to do any cervical
checks or give me a time limit or anything. She said she’s been at births where
women were slipped Pitocin via IV against their wishes, among other things. Out
goes that compromise.
Sure, it’s great we have the fall back of having a C-section
to save our baby and our life if something were to go very wrong. However, just
because our baby is positioned a little differently than optimal for a quick
delivery, or our pelvis is just a little small for a smooth slide out, or our labor
takes a long time due to whatever does not mean we need to jeopardize our
futures or our babies’ futures by cutting them out so quickly. We all need to
look into the dangers of C-sections and the advantages of Vaginal Births. There
are so many reasons babies should be born the way they were designed. From
breastfeeding, advantageous intestinal bacteria, and brain and lung function to
an array of other things, babies need the chance to be born naturally. No one
should be able to choose for us, how or where we give birth. Until more women
understand the importance of standing up for their right, there will be many of
us left to struggle our way through something that should just be natural.
I mean really, why is it so hard for me to just give
birth???
